Whether it be a big thing or little thing, life tends to knock you around a bit every now and then. Shake you up. Make you think about the aspects of your day to day proceedings and puzzle you. Ideas are formed, questions to yourself are raised. The over thinking begins, perhaps a bit of self doubt. I start asking myself a million things I know I shouldn’t worry about…
“Emma, should you be doing what you’re doing? What is really going to make you happier? Is there more to life than the mundane? Do you need to stop and reflect more often? Are you choosing the right people and situations to surround yourself with? Are you working hard enough towards goals and dreams? What do you really want to do with your life?”
Questions that probably cannot be answered with a simple yes or no, but make you stop and look at yourself as a person. Does anyone really know the answers? I find myself thinking about the “answers” a lot, or versions of what could be. Brains are a tricky body part, aren’t they? They confuse you.
The question of what do I want to do with my life; I’m sure on paper it’s all nutted out. Or the traditional way of living anyway. Study, a nine to fiver, relationship, engagement, travel in between somewhere, marriage, babies, raising said babies, more babies, growing up, getting on. That is perfect for some. But do I really want that? I still feel like a child most days, I can’t see myself plucking one out of the sky anytime soon. And marriage – eek! Let’s not talk about that. The travel sounds good, really good actually. I’m dying to get on the plane for our next escape. March cannot come sooner. I feel free on holiday. Carefree. I love discovering new cultures and experiencing new ways of life. I feel inspired on holiday. Fresh perspectives are formed. It’s exhilarating. If I could work for half the year and travel for the other I would be a very happy soul. E and I travel particularly well together too. You have to be able to travel with your partner. She’s a great commander on the travel front. I’m like an animal escaped from the zoo discovering a whole new world for the first time. She keeps me grounded. I like that. I need it. I would have probably been run over by a Tuk Tuk by now if she didn’t keep an eye out. Can I just focus on the holidaying for now? I guess the rest will work itself out in time. No use fussing about it, right? As long as I’m happy about where I am now it’ll be okay.
Talking about the mundane being enough – well, the things I do in my everyday life make me happy – as mundane as they may be, they are comforting. For example snapping a photograph of my outfit daily for my Instagram… Some people may find that mind numbing and a waste of time, but for me it’s a way to organise my wardrobe, rediscover what I do have and take part in an online community challenge. I feel included and have met some beautiful people via the internet. They inspire me, and my styling skills. It has just become a part of my daily routine, like cleaning my teeth or showering. Even on days when I’ve been hung over or sick I’ve still snapped a picture, because as dull as routine can be, I like my routine. I guess it’s not mundane if it makes you happy, right?
Thinking about the people in my life, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You meet every single person for a reason. No one knows why in the beginning, but as time goes on you start to work out why people come into your life, and why they leave. Some friendships are forever, some run a course, some surprise you, others feel like home. Every friendship I’ve experienced has taught me something about myself too. I have friends who I want to be more like. I wish I had their drive, passion and out look on life. Others have made me question parts of myself in both good and bad ways. Some are just perfect for ridiculous conversation when you want to escape. Every person has a purpose. I’ve also noticed I’ve been placed in situations where perhaps I can teach people a thing or two. That’s even more interesting. Watch this space.
And the question of what will really make me happier in my life? It’s the hardest one to answer. But I do know the only person who can change my life and perspective is me. Things and people will get in the way and it’s a challenge, but it’s worth the striving. I wanted to leave you with a few quotes that I’ve been loving lately – hopefully they get you thinking.